Should A Aspiring Influencer Pal Stop Exploiting People for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?